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We've been friends for over two decades, a person who's overcome numerous challenges, and I respect her for that. However, she's often caught off guard by people. Her spouse left her, and it was a massive blow. Many of her social circle vanished then, as they were focused solely on him. It shocked her. She put in more effort in our friendship, probably understood better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many in her circle have disappeared leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she was an excellent employee, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both stepped back from work leading to more frequent meetups, however, I feel my role between us is as the audience. I open subjects and she changes conversation onto things she cares about. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. I try to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a holiday abroad I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. I tried to share personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She purely just desired validation of her decisions. I've just come back from a month in that place she hopes to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the consequences of her actions on my self-esteem. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome we hope for. But confrontation aiming for a solution demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens when you talk. This needs to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. Next is to express her how it affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement here. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. Step three is to question ways you together can shift the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

This can be successful in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

She may dismiss all you say, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they have a narrative of their life they cannot release as it feels essential is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This poses a challenge as there is no clear path here, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might initially present this way and then think on your words. If you never reach an agreement, you'll have satisfaction from having been truthful.